


Needs Part 2

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-06-27
Updated: 1999-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-11 04:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11141364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Ray tries to find Fraser. While Fraser gives up on Ray. This story is a sequel toNeeds Part 1.





	Needs Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Part 2

Here is part 2 of my Due South fan fiction 'Needs'. 

If you haven't read the first part then just Due it! I think you might enjoy it.

As usual, Alliance have first dibs on the guys and I only borrow them for a while. 

Please don't Sue me (no pun intended) I have no money.

Thank you kindly to the people who emailed me with nice words. It makes it all worthwhile. (You know how you are!)

Once again thank you kindly to my daughter Jaime. She encourages me and makes me feel good. I love you. And thanks to Babs you support me in more ways than you know. 

Now read and enjoy and don't forget to email me I really want you to mean it!

 

June 1999

****

Needs 

Written by DueSue

**   
**

**DueSue@aol.com**   
**   
**

Part 2

F

raser finally reached the hospital.  
It was very late. He stood slightly out of breath at the nurse's station  
waiting to ask about Ray. There seemed to be no one in the waiting area  
that he knew. Maybe they had moved Ray somewhere else. Maybe he **was  
** too late!

"Can I help you?" The nurse looked up at Fraser from where she was sitting. He didn't recognize her; she was probably with the new shift. 

"Ray Vecchio, I need to see Ray Vecchio please" Fraser almost pleaded.

"I'm sorry but Mr. Vecchio is in ICU and only close relatives are able to see him at the present time, I'm sorry" 

"Please nurse, I have to see him. I need to see him!" Fraser curtly spoke to the nurse.

The nurse stood up and leaned on the desk. "I _said,_ you cannot see him unless you are a relative!" 

Fraser stared at the nurse, bewilderment on his face, his forehead creased in a frown. He turned and started to walk away. After a few steps he stopped abruptly and stood motionless. Fraser realized that he had to try and see Ray. Maybe this would be the last time he would see him alive. Fraser took a deep breath and turned around. The nurse was sat behind the nurse's station again marking charts. Fraser could see that she was engrossed in her work. Maybe she would not notice if he sneaked past the desk. Fraser walked as quietly as he could and tried to make his way around the station and down the corridor marked 'ICU - This way'.

The Nurse, realizing what he was up to, stepped in front of Fraser and put her hand on his chest and pushed at him. "Oh No you don't! Do you want me to call security and have you thrown out?"

A phone rang on the nurse's station and she glanced at the desk.

"You have to go I'm sorry, I have to answer the phone." The nurse started to walk away but Fraser grabbed her arm.

"Please! I have to see Ray Vecchio nurse. Please?" The nurse looked at Fraser and then her gaze moved to his hand holding her arm. Immediately Fraser let her go. "I'm sorry nurse, but I, I have to see him" 

The nurse studied Fraser for a moment. 'Wait here please until I answer the phone?" Fraser nodded and watched her answer the phone. Fraser realized he had a real bad headache and he rubbed his forehead to try and ease the pain, his eyes closed. 

"Well, are you _any_ relation to Mr. Vecchio?" The nurse had finished on the phone and was stood looking at him; her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrows raised.

Fraser looked into her eyes and realized what a fool he had made of himself earlier. "No I I'm sorry nurse, I" He swallowed hard "I'm his partner. He's, we're detectives with the Chicago Police department" Fraser hung his head, he hated to lie but needs must!

"Well, I **may** let you see him for a few minutes, but you must promise that you will behave like a gentleman and when I say go - you go. Understand?" The nurse smiled slightly.

"Understood" Fraser closed his eyes in relief, he was going to be able to see Ray after all.

The nurse showed him into the viewing room for ICU patients 

"I'll go and put a light on in Mr. Vecchio's room. We like to keep to a routine of night and day for all our patients. We find it helps keep their body clock in better working order." She looked at him again, eyes narrowed. "You _do_ understand that Mr. Vecchio is very, very ill?" 

Fraser nodded 

"And that he is hooked up to a lot of equipment?"

Fraser nodded again.

"I thought I should warn you. Some people find it very hard to cope with, you know. Seeing someone they know critically ill." She sighed.

"There's an intercom system between this room and Mr. Vecchio's, so you can speak to Mr. Vecchio if you like" 

"It's Detective Vecchio" Fraser said simply. 

"Oh I'm sorry Detective. I'll remember that" 

She turned and walked away letting the door close behind her.

Fraser stood letting his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. He walked to the large viewing window. 

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T

he room was in semi-darkness,  
just a small light near Ray's bed. Fraser could see Ray's unconscious  
form in the hospital bed. He was hooked up to various monitors and machines.  
Ray's head was bandaged up, as was his upper left torso. Fraser could  
see that Ray had been beaten badly. He drew in a sharp breath, he could  
not tell if Ray was breathing or not!

Fraser moved closer to the glass. He so badly wanted to touch Ray and see if he was warm, see if he was breathing. Fraser was shocked to see that Ray's arms were tied to the bedsides.

"Ray" Fraser whispered. 

"Ray..." Fraser closed his eyes tight. He had not seen Ray in over 2 years. Would Ray want him here? Should he be here? Would he even know he was here?

He took a deep breath, opened his eyes and pressed the intercom button. "Ray, It's me, Benton Fraser. I ..I know we haven't seen each other for a while but when Leftenant Welsh informed me about your condition this morning I had to come and see you."

Ray did not move. 

Fraser sighed, he knew Ray was in critical condition but he did not want to believe that Ray would not recover. He realized that he did not want to face life without him. Fraser felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He hung his head and let the tears trace down his cheeks. "Oh God, Ray" he whispered. For a few minutes Fraser wept silently. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R

ay was looking for the Riv. While they had  
been in the Consulate someone had stolen it or so Ray thought.

He paced up and down on the sidewalk, cursing and swearing at the unseen people who had stolen his car.

"What I want to know is, who the hell had the nerve to do this? It's got to be one of the Bolt brothers. Yeah that's about right, it was probably one of them trying to get their own back on me!"

'Look Son, I'm not surprised that the car is gone. Did you think they would leave it for you to use? The man up there wants you to prove you want to live for yourself" 

Fraser Snr stood on the sidewalk alongside him. Ray noticed that Benny's dad had snowshoes on! He was convinced that Benny's dad was more than a little ..strange! Maybe that's where Benny got his weird side from his dad!

'So how am I supposed to get anywhere? What am I supposed to do? I need to see the guy in charge and I've no ride! Ray was working himself up into a frenzy.

'Well Son, as far as I know, you're expected to make it on your own. You always did before Benton came along, and I think that that's what you're supposed to do now"

Ray cast about with his eyes, looking for someone, anyone who would help him. If Benny were here he would know what to do.

"You know Son, I think that you are going to have to make your peace with some folks and tidy up your life somewhat. Anyway, I've got to go now, things to do you know" Fraser Snr started to walk away

"Hey! Wait up. Will you be back?" Ray ran after Fraser Snr grabbing at his arm.

"Not sure Son. Have to wait and see" Fraser Snr straightened his serge jacket and made to walk away again,

"Can you make Benny see you?" Ray stood puzzling on that thought.

"Benton and I speak all the time. I like to advise him on cases. Oh yes and help him out with that Yank who took your place" Fraser Snr smiled proudly at Ray who grimaced at the thought of being replaced.

"Well if he can see you, can you tell him. Tell him...." Ray was deep in thought. ' _What would I ask him to tell Benny?'_

"No Son I'm not allowed to tell Benton anything about this. I'm sorry. You're on your own I'm afraid" 

Fraser Snr walked away whistling to himself. Ray blew out a breath in despair 

"Wait a minute..." Ray looked for Fraser Snr but he had already gone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

N

urse Taylor pushed open the viewing room door  
as quietly as she could, as she didn't want to disturb him. The detective  
was leaning on the glass window weeping quietly. She could tell that  
this man was in great pain and he really needed help.

Hearing a slight cough behind him, Fraser quickly brushed the tears away. He turned and found the nurse watching him, a sad look on her face. 

"I'm sorry Detective but you've had you're few minutes, you really do have to go" The nurse who he had almost attacked stood in the doorway, the bright light of the corridor streaming in around her. "You should go home and get some rest. Come back tomorrow. Maybe you're partner will be a little better?"

"I need to be with Ray. I have to be with him" Fraser stood arms hanging limply at his sides. 

The nurse looked at the tall dark haired handsome man. He looked haggard and desperate, broken somehow. 

"Well, I'm just about to go off on my break and get a cup of coffee. How about I buy you a cup?" 

"I need to stay here with Ray..." Fraser glanced towards the ICU room viewing window. 

"Look. I need for you not to be here. I don't want to get into any trouble. I shouldn't have let you in at this time in the morning. Come and have a coffee with me?" The nurse held out her hand to Fraser. 

Fraser looked at the small hand and then back to the nurse's kind face. "Well, I suppose I could have one cup" 

"Great! Come on lets get out of here before someone sees you and I get into trouble" 

Fraser reached for her hand.

Down in the hospital restaurant Nurse Taylor and Fraser sat together in a small booth near the back. The nurse was talking to him but he wasn't listening. His mind was on Ray. He should be with him. Fraser didn't realize he was whispering. 

' _I should be with him'_

"Detective? Detective are you with me?" Nurse Taylor smiled at Fraser as he realized that she was talking to him. 

"I'm sorry Nurse, I was...."

"I know" the nurse interrupted "you were thinking about Detective Vecchio again. Look, I know you want to be with him but we're doing everything we can for him. It really is up to him now" She stirred her coffee and glanced up at him. "How long have you been partners?"

"Ray and I have been friends for 5 years but the last 2 years he was on undercover assignment. That's how he sustained his injuries" Fraser studied his coffee cup.

"Well it seems to me that he couldn't do any better for a partner. I thought you were going to attack me when I said you couldn't see him" She was smiling again. 

Fraser hung his head in embarrassment, he could hardly believe that he'd grabbed her.

"Yes, I must apologize again for my behavior. I am not normally so emotional but I... I ..I thought Ray may have...." Fraser did not finish his words, he couldn't.

"That's okay, I understand. Besides you only grabbed my arm" The nurse finished off her coffee. 

"No, it was unforgivable of me. Which brings me to my next apology." Fraser now started to blush. "I lied to you"

Nurse Taylor stared at Fraser, as a pink glow touched his cheeks.

"I'm not a detective with Chicago Police Department. I am Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Everything else I told you is true. I hope I didn't frighten you too much earlier. I also hope that you will forgive me?" 

Nurse Taylor sat with a stunned expression on her face. "I ...I,... well yes I forgive you.. Benton?. I don't know what else to say." She studied him for a moment. "Yes I do! Do you wear a red uniform and a strange hat? And what is a Mountie doing here in Chicago?" She leaned forward waiting for Fraser's reply.

"Well, to answer your questions, Yes, yes and I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father and for reasons which don't need exploring at this juncture, I've remained attached as liaison officer with the Canadian Consulate"

"Oh, I see. What about you're family? Have you any brothers or sisters? Your mother?" 

"No, sadly my mother died when I was 6. I have no brothers or sisters." Fraser stared at Nurse Taylor with his deep blue eyes.

"Ray seems to have a large family. Want some more coffee?"

Fraser shook his head "No, Thank you kindly " The nurse stood up and walked away to get more coffee. Fraser studied her as she walked to the coffee dispenser. She seemed nice and very easy to talk to. She started to walk back and Fraser realized that he had taken up enough of her time already. He stood as she sat back down. 

"Going somewhere?" she said as she looked up at him.

"I must have taken up enough of your time. Thank you kindly for all your help."

"Hey where are you going? Deserting a girl are we? I thought Mountie's always did the right thing and always got your man and all that?" She said with a smile.

"I am not deserting you. I just imagined that you had better things to do than baby-sit me? And yes we usually do 'get our man'" Fraser smiled for the first time. 

"Wow, a smile. That's great. Ray would be pleased. You have to be strong for him you know? And his family. I imagine that they are depending on you for a lot of things at the moment?" Nurse Taylor rested her chin on her hand as she looked at Fraser.

The smile disappeared from Fraser's face and he looked sad again. 

"Sit down again will you? Talk to me, tell me what's wrong?" 

Fraser sighed and retook his seat.

"I doubt that Ray's family will ever want to see me again. Ray's sister came to see me and.. and she told me that they didn't ever want to see me again. That I would not be welcome in their home again." Fraser stared off into the distance, remembering Frannie words.

 

'' _What the hell are you doing to us? We needed you_!' 

' _You god damned son-of-a-bitch!!!!!!' 'Where were you when we needed you? You have always been part of our family. We accepted you into our home for Ray's sake. We grew to care about you. L ..love you even!' Y..you run away! You hide! You can't even have the d..decency to be there for R.. Ray, never mind us!_

"Benton, hey Benton. Where are you again?" Nurse Taylor snapped her fingers in front of Fraser's eyes. He shook his head and his eyes refocused on the nurse. He could almost feel the slap Frannie had given him as he touched his cheek.

"I'm sorry Nurse. I was just thinking about what she said to me"

Fraser rested his cheek on his fist and stared at the coffee cup. Nurse Taylor covered his other hand with hers. "Look I'm sure everything will work out for you. I'm sure the family will come around Benton" 

Fraser shook his head as he removed his hand "No I don't think so Nurse"

"Well, don't give up on them, not just yet. They're hurting, just like you, you know. Time heals as the saying goes and you just have to give it time Benton. You'll just have to visit Ray when the family isn't around to avoid an unpleasant scene. I'm sure that we can arrange it. Just let them heal a little and see how Ray does. You can visit late at night if you like, but we're used to that aren't we Benton?"

She was smiling again and Fraser realized when she smiled it made him feel a little better. He also realized that she was a very pretty girl. _'Ray would love to take you out for dinner, on a, I believe he would call it, a date?'_ he thought _._

"I have to get back on duty now Benton but if you want to come back later tonight.."

Nurse Taylor stood up, smoothing down her lilac colored scrubs. 

"May I wait here?" Fraser stood up also.

"What here? You can't wait here all day Benton. Why can't you go home?" She put her hand on his arm and squeezed.

"I have no apartment, it was burned down quite a while ago and I am staying at the Consulate, well, living in my office now to be exact. I don't want to see anyone. I can't, not yet" Fraser hung his head again.

"Let me think a minute" She stood frowning, her eyes scanning the room. "Wait here, don't go away" She walked quickly across the restaurant to a table where a number of doctors were having breakfast together. Fraser saw her bend over and whisper into one doctor's ear. The doctor excused himself from the table and they walked away together. Fraser looked away as they were deep in conversation. He settled back in the booth and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get rid of his headache. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He was standing in a cemetery surrounded by tombstones. He cast his eyes around and saw words carved into them. 

HERE LIES..., 

SLEEPING WITH ANGELS..., 

AT PEACE..., 

R.I.P...., 

 

"Well Benton, I've just located somewhere for you to stay." Fraser jumped at the sound of her voice. He had drifted off to sleep! He looked up at the nurse who smiled down at him.

"Oh I'm sorry Benton. I didn't realize you had fallen asleep. You must be exhausted. Dr Greene says you can use a bed in the on-call room for a few hours. I told him that you were an old boyfriend here on vacation from Canada and as I was on duty I couldn't find anywhere for you to stay. Come on lets get you settled in."

Fraser stood slightly bewildered. This person had just lied to help him! Ray was the only one to do that in the past. 

Nurse Taylor was already walking away and Fraser sprinted to catch her up. 

"I'll just ring ICU and let them know what's happening" She picked up a phone and dialed. Fraser walked away and stared at a poster for a blood drive. After a few seconds he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Nurse Taylor smiling up at him.

"Lets go Benton"

 

"Well you know where I am for the next few hours. Take it easy here, no one will bother you. I'll come and collect you when I get off and we'll go and get some lunch. Okay?"

Nurse Taylor tidied her hair in the mirror whilst talking to Fraser. "I gotta go, see you later"

Fraser sat on the bed and looked around. It was just a small room. It reminded him of his old apartment on West Racine. Fraser lay down and folded his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling. Soon he was fast asleep.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F

raser found himself standing in a cemetery,  
tombstones all around him. His eyes moved from tombstone to tombstone,  
reading the words there.

HERE LIES..., 

SLEEPING WITH ANGELS..., 

AT PEACE..., 

R.I.P...., 

IN LOVING MEMORY ...., 

****

MURDERED BY..... 

He had been here before! His eyes came to rest on one where the ground was newly opened. Logic told him that a tombstone was never erected before a burial. He stared into the deep hole wondering what was going on. Suddenly he could hear footsteps. 

He turned and saw a procession of people, no - police - in dress uniform. Some were carrying a casket covered by a Stars and Stripes flag. He drew himself up to attention and took a deep breath as they passed by him. He could smell flowers. Suddenly he realized that Francesca was there and so was Mrs. Vecchio. 

Fraser started to panic. ' _Who was in the casket? What was going on?_ ' Again he could smell the pungent scent of flowers. Roses, and lilies maybe.

Fraser realized that they were going to the open grave. He tried to turn around but found he could not move. He twisted his body from side to side trying to see behind him but unseen hands held him firmly. He turned his head from side to side, trying in vain to see what was happening. He looked down at his arms and saw gloved hands holding him now, gripping hard. His eyes moved up the arms holding him and found that it was Huey and Dewey holding him. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't move. They would not let him go. 

Fraser could hear the casket being lowered into the grave. Tears sprang from his eyes. He knew that it had to be Ray in the casket! They were burying his best friend and not allowing him to pay his respects! 

"Please can you let me go? I have to pay my respects to the family and Ray" He pleaded, Huey's grip grew tighter.

"PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO!" Fraser shouted. 

Then he heard a voice. "No, Benton you're not welcome here." Frannie stood at his side smiling at him but it was a granite hard smile. "You know where you belong don't you?" She stroked his face with the back of her fingers. 

"Please Francesca, I need to pay my respects. Please let me go?" Fraser pleaded with Frannie, but she only smiled at him as she pushed him back into the open grave.

Fraser found himself falling backwards. He seemed to be falling in slow motion. He thrashed his arms and legs, screaming as he fell.

"Aaaahhhh...."

He landed hard on his back, on top of the casket. Winded and trying to get his breath, he looked up and saw the Vecchio family members smiling down at him from the edge of the grave. Lt. Welsh, Elaine and other squad members were also smiling down at him. Even Stan was there with Dief.

"HELLLPPP MEEEE!!" Fraser cried out. But no one did. 

Fraser struggled to get up and managed to work his way in to a kneeling position on top of the casket. A large brass plaque on the lid proclaimed:

'Raymond Vecchio'

'Murdered by the Mob'

'Left by his friend'

'- Now DEAD'

 

Fraser screamed again "NOOOOOOOOOOO" 

He covered his face with his arms and sobbed. "Ray, Ray NO RAYYYYY!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R

ay decided to make for the hospital.  
He felt it was the right thing to do somehow. He didn't know why. He  
just had a hunch that he should get to the hospital. He walked slowly,  
his hands in his pockets, head hung low. He felt a strange feeling of  
despair. He wished he had company. Benny's dad was strange but at least  
he would've someone to talk to! Ray looked around and realized that  
he was outside Scarpetta's place. Last time he had been here was when  
Gardino had been killed. __

'God that was an awful time' Ray remembered how they had been celebrating his promotion to Detective Grade 1. Benny, Huey, Louis and Ray had dinner at Scarpetta's place - along with Frank Zuko! Ray shook his head at the memory of that night. It had been so great to dance with Irene, but what a way to end the night! 

Louis had left his coat in the Riv and gone back to get it. Benny had seen someone suspicious walking away from the Riv and realized that something was wrong. He had tried to stop Louis from opening up the Riv, but he was too late. Someone had tried to frame Zuko for the explosion that had ripped apart the Riv along with Louis Gardino! 

Benny felt so bad not being able to stop Louis. But then he had defended Zuko. Ray didn't think their relationship could ever be the same after that. All the squad had been shocked at Benny and he felt ostracized by the whole squad. 

Ray walked on, shaking his head. Irene had been shot and died in hospital. She was the only woman he had _really_ loved. Zuko's henchmen had beat Benny up real bad that night. Ray thought he was dead when he found him lying in the corridor. Ray remembered how Benny had been right all along about Zuko not being involved with the explosion. It didn't make him feel any better about Zuko but Benny had been right and he had to accept that. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

N

urse Taylor let herself into the room where  
Fraser was sleeping. She stood and looked at him laid on the bed, his  
arm covering his eyes. He looked so childlike, so innocent. She could  
see that he was restless, twisting his head from side to side. May be  
he was dreaming. She bent down and touched his arm carefully, trying  
not to startle him. "Benton, Benton wake up"

Fraser took in a sharp breath and snapped opened his eyes. His face was covered by a damp sheen of perspiration. He stared at her without recognition in his eyes. 

"Benton? You were dreaming, it's ok, it's just a dream" She stroked his forehead and found that he was cold to the touch. Slowly, he released the breath he was holding. His eyes focused on her face. He was shaking.

"N, nurse" Fraser sat up and swung his legs off the bed, brushing his face with his hands. He sat with his head down, his shoulders hunched forward staring at the floor. 

"Are you ok? Were you having a bad dream?" Nurse Taylor knelt down and looked into his face. 

"Nightmare" Fraser uttered as he wiped his face again as if to dust off cobwebs. After a long moment Fraser finally stood up. "How's Ray?"

"There's no change Benton, if there had been I would have been up here straight away. Look Benton, please call me Grace? It is better than 'nurse' all the time" 

"Very well Grace, Thank you kindly." He glanced around the room as if looking for someone.

"Lets go get some lunch shall we? I'm sure you must be hungry. When was the last time you ate?" 

Grace had on a long dark red woolen coat and was fastening it as she talked.

"I, I don't remember when I ate last I'm afraid, but I believe it was sometime early on Monday morning. I was meeting Ray for lunch when I found out about Ray" Fraser poured himself some water and took a long drink.

"Wait a minute" Grace held up a hand. "You just said you were meeting Ray for lunch...You told me that he was on undercover. I don't understand." Grace had a puzzled look on her face.

"Well, Ray Vecchio was on undercover assignment but he had a replacement called Stanley Kowalski who was posing as Ray Vecchio and everyone referred to Stan as Ray" Fraser explained.

"Oh I see, ...I think!" Grace shook her head and laughed "I think I get it Benton. Let's go! You need to eat"

Fraser followed Grace. He was still shaking.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L

unch was at a small diner on W34th Street.  
They talked about Ray Vecchio, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and  
Fraser. After a while Fraser realized that Grace was very tired and  
she was almost falling asleep at the table.

"I'm sorry Grace, I should be more considerate. You're almost asleep. How long have you been awake?"

"I came on duty at 9pm last night and was supposed to get off at 9 this morning. We're short staffed, so I did an extra few hours. Besides, you needed some sleep and I wanted to have lunch with you. Make sure that you were alright, but I must go home now, I'm back on again at 9pm tonight" She stifled a yawn with her hand "I'm sorry Benton but I really have to get some sleep. I'll be back on tonight, you go and run some errands and sort the Consulate out and be back at the hospital later on. I'll make sure the Vecchio family aren't around and you can visit with Ray as long as you like" She smiled as she stood "See you tonight?"

"Yes, I'll be waiting for you " Fraser stood also and walked her to the door. "Have you far to go, I can walk you if you like?"

"That's kind of you Benton but it's not far. See you later"

With that she walked away. Fraser stood watching her. As she disappeared around the corner he realized that she was right and that he should go and sort some things out. He realized that he should see Insp. Thatcher. He had to sort his life out but was he ready to see her yet? Fraser turned and walked away. He wondered who was looking after Dief. The last time he saw him was at the hospital yesterday. The thought of the hospital made him feel physically ill. He walked on, not knowing where he was going, and not caring. His mind wandering aimlessly.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R

ay walked slowly. He was getting  
tired. He wondered what would happen when he finally got to the hospital.  
It seemed like the right thing to do, go to the hospital. Maybe someone  
would be there to help him. All he knew was that he had an impulse to  
go there.

Ray wondered what was happening with the family. ' _Ma will be upset. Poor Ma! Hope Benny's looking after her? Frannie will_ love _being looked after by Benny! Probably have him putting a ring on her finger by the time I get there!'_ Ray grinned to himself at the thought of Benny and Frannie together. 

Ray noticed a café up ahead and decided to see if he could get a cup of coffee. He pushed open the door and found himself standing in the bar where Benny and he had gone to buy a rare bottle of whiskey for the Dragon Lady. 

He looked around shaking his head. "Geez. This is too weird!" 

He walked to the bar and asked the bartender for a beer. Ray glanced around at the other customers. Remembering the fight he got into the last time he was here. 

He took a long drink from the bottle. Ray grimaced at the taste of the beer. ' _Strange no taste'_

He sat down on a stool to consider his options. What to do now. Ray remembered when Benny had walked into the squad room dressed as a woman. Not one person had recognized him. Lt. Welsh had even 'made eyes' at him! Ray laughed at the memory. Fraser had gone undercover as a female teacher in a convent - as a favor to Ray. One young girl pupil had taken a shine to Benny well the female Benny and she was very upset when she found out that Fraser was a man. She thought her teacher was a cross dresser! Any way, they had got the bad guys and all had worked out well in the end. 

Ray took another swig from the bottle. He sat grinning to himself. _'Benny did look pretty good dressed as a woman!'_

He remembered their conversation afterwards

__

'You ready?' Ray asked as the police were just taking away the criminals. 

Benny straightened his serge jacket as they walked to the Riv _'Yes'_

__

'You know Benny, you weren't a bad looking woman' Ray smiled at his friend.

__

'Thank you Ray' 

__

'Of course you weren't exactly my type you know' Ray grinned wickedly as he glanced at Fraser out of the corner of his eye

__

Fraser stopped and stared at Ray, a look of astonishment on his face _'What exactly is 'your type' Ray?'_

Ray stared off into the distance as if imagining his perfect woman. _'Oh I like a woman who is kind and honest, with a good sense of humor'_

'Wh? I don't have those qualities?' Fraser was stunned at Ray's comment

__

'No, no, no you do!' Ray responded quickly, trying to pacify Fraser, but grinning all the same _'I just like a woman who is. y' know.. a woman!'_

'Ah that's.., that's picky Ray' Fraser threw his Stetson on the dashboard in disgust and got in the car.

__

'Well don't get in a snit!' Ray climbed into the Riv, smiling to himself, at Fraser's quick reply. 

__

'I'm not' Fraser watched his friend start the Riv.

__

Ray grinned even more. _'Well good'_ He could tell that Fraser was upset now. 

__

'Fine' Fraser sat to attention in the passenger seat.

Ray just couldn't resist the temptation to wind Fraser up. _'So what you doing after work?'_

'Nothing with you' Fraser was quick to answer.

__

Ray laughed out loud and punched his friend on the arm. _'Your so sensitive!!'_

 

Ray's smile disappeared slowly as he remembered he might never see Benny again. His heart ached to see him and talk to him. What would he do without his best friend? He took another long drink and rolled the bottle across his brow as if to cool himself off. 

"You finally dumped the Mountie I see" 

Ray turned at the sound of a familiar voice. 

"What do you want Pops" Ray glanced at his father and then stared at the floor that's all he needed!

"Glad you got rid of the guy in red that's all. You can do better than him. Never amount to much" 

Carmine Vecchio leaned on the bar, a bottle in his hand, still wearing the leather jacket Ray remembered so well. 

Ray didn't want to look at his father. He had had enough of him when he was alive and didn't want anything to do with him now.

"Look Pops the guy in red is my FRIEND. I like him. I like being with him. We're good together. I need someone like Benny. He takes an interest in me, in what I'm doing. More than you ever did. Now leave me alone!" He turned away from his dead father hoping he would go away sometime soon. 

Carmine stared at his son. He could never make him out. Wanting to be a cop! 

"Your mother would be upset at you talking to me like that you know? All high and mighty. You're starting to sound like the Mountie" 

Ray flared up, pointing his finger at his father. " **Don't** talk to me about my mother! You never did anything to help her. You were always out drinking or playing pool or gambling away the money. She brought us up with no help from you" 

Ray, pleased at being able to upset his father, glared at him. "She loves Benny like a son you know Pops. Ma says Benny's welcome in our house anytime. And if I am getting like Benny then good at least he's kind, considerate, polite and a decent human being. Now, you get away from me!" 

Ray stood up and made to leave. Carmine grabbed his son's arm. 

"Now wait a minute Ray. You're in trouble. There are things going on here that you don't know about. You need help. Where's the Mountie now when you need him? I can help you if you want some help. After all we're in the same boat you know dead!" 

Ray turned to his father. "No way, I'm gonna live especially if I have to put up with you all the time. Look Pops. You hated cops when you were alive. You sure don't like Benny and you don't even know him. Hell, I don't even know how you feel about me. I'm a cop! How does that make you feel? You never made your feelings clear to anyone when you were alive. Why the hell Ma married you, God only knows! We needed you Pops but you were never there for us. Not _one_ of us. How do you expect me to feel about you? At least Benny's there when you need him. When I need him! You only ever thought about yourself. Never us, your family!" 

Ray walked away from his father, an aching deep in his heart. 

"The Mountie only ever brought you trouble. He trashed the house Ray! You even took a bullet for him!"

"Yeah Pops and I shot him!" Ray threw over his shoulder as he walked away.

Carmine watched his son leave the bar. There was nothing he could do for him. He was alone now. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

S

tan was sat at his desk when  
the phone rang. "Det Vecchio, 27th Precinct" Stan  
answered

"Ah yes Vecchio, Inspector Thatcher here. I wondered if you had seen Constable Fraser today?"

"Oh eh, you don't know yet do you? Fraser's at the hospital with R... with a friend who was badly injured. I can't really talk at the moment. Would you like to meet and discuss it?" Stan realized that she was not aware of what had gone down yesterday.

"Yes Thankyou Detective. Will you come here?" Thatcher's voice had altered. It was tense now.

"Yeah I'll be right over. See you in 20 minutes?" Stan put down the phone and grabbed his coat. "I'm going to see Fraser's boss Lieutenant. She doesn't know yet. Let's go Dief." Dief ran after Stan.

"Fine Vecchio" Welsh called after Stan. He was wondering what was happening with Fraser himself.

Stan arrived at the Consulate and found Insp. Thatcher sitting in her office.

"Inspector" Stan stood at the door waiting to be invited in.

"Come in Detective, take a seat" Thatcher smiled grimly "I see you have the wolf with you." She stated as Dief settled himself aside Stan's chair.

"Well?" she stared hard at Stan.

"Yeah well it's like this" Stan scratched the area immediately behind his right ear. "Fraser went to the hospital to see, .....to see Ray Vecchio. He was critically injured on undercover assignment and was flown here a couple a days ago. Fraser's probably with him."

"I see. How is the detective?" Thatcher knew that Fraser would be upset, Vecchio was his friend.

"Well he's in a coma. He was badly beaten and left for dead. They, the doctors don't expect him to live" Stan watched the Inspectors reaction to his words. She was quite nice looking really. A bit authoritative in her nature but still he thought she could be nice.

"Well if you see Constable Fraser please inform him that I do not need him at the moment and he may take as much time as he needs. Thank you for coming to see me and explaining the situation" 

Thatcher rose and walked around her desk. "Please let me know if there is anything I can do for Fraser or the Vecchio family"

Stan walked with her to the door. "If I can do anything for you please let me know. I'll keep in touch if that's ok?" 

"Of course Vecchio...what should I call you now, with ..." She stared into Stan's eyes not knowing what to say.

"Things are not real clear yet, but you can call me Stan ugh..if you like?"

Stan realized that she may not be up for it in her position of Inspector.

"Thank you Stan, I really appreciate your help" Thatcher mentally compared Stan to Vecchio, thinking that Stan was less 'prickly' than Vecchio, nice really, even if he wasn't as smartly dressed.

"Well I'd better get going. I'll give you a call when I've seen Fraser." Stan walked towards the reception area, Thatcher walking along side. "I'll see you later?" Stan smiled at her and then walked away.

"Mmm.. Stan?" Thatcher stopped Stan in his tracks. "Yeah?"

"I, I just wanted to say thank you again."

"No problem" Stan grinned and walked to his car.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F

raser returned to the hospital  
a little after 7pm that night. He made straight for the 'on call' room.  
He used the phone in the room to call ICU and check on Ray. No change.  
Fraser sat and read the newspaper until just after 9.30pm. He just couldn't  
wait any longer! He had to see Ray. Grace had not turned up yet so he  
had to risk going on down there.

Fraser made his way to ICU. There seemed to be no one around. He went into the viewing room. He was shocked to see the bed Ray had been in last night was empty! Fraser stood looking into the room, his forehead resting on the glass. He knew that Ray must have died somewhere between his phone call at about 7pm and now! He closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath. Fraser was fighting to hold back the tears. 

' _Oh God Ray I'm so, so sorry! I should have been here with you_!' was all he could think.

Suddenly the door opened and Grace came in. "Benton! What's the matter? What's wrong?"

Fraser turned to Grace, tears streaming down his face. "It's Ray, he's...he's ..Oh Grace Ray's dead!" Fraser stood, panic on his face and tears streaming down his cheeks.

Grace ran to Fraser and put her arms around him

"No Benton, Ray's okay. They moved him into another room that's all. Come on Benton, please don't cry?"

Fraser pulled away from Grace, his breath hitching "What?"

"I said they moved Ray. About 8pm. He's slightly improved and they moved him so his family can be closer to him. That's all!" Grace smiled a beautiful smile.

Fraser wiped at his eyes "I'm sorry Grace, I...I thought that..the worst had happened.!" Fraser started to turn a bright shade of red.

Grace just laughed and touched his cheek. "Come on, let's go and see Ray. His family are all gone for the night"

Grace opened the door to Ray's room. Fraser peeped in. He could see Ray laid in the bed, still hooked up to the various monitors. 

He felt a slight push in the middle of his back and realized that Grace was encouraging him to go in. Fraser stepped in to the room and walked up to the bed. He felt very nervous. 

'Hello Ray, it's me - Benton Fraser'

Ray lay still and quiet. 

'I'll just pull up a chair and then we can talk' He glanced around for a chair. Carrying the chair to the side of the bed, Fraser sat.

'I hope you're feeling a little better? You're family have been to see you earlier but I decided that it would be better if they had their own time with you. I, I came after work' 

Fraser lied - again. His eyes fell on the tape holding Ray's wrists to the bedsides. Slowly he unfastened one and took Ray's hand in his. It was limp and unresponsive. 

Fraser sat holding Ray's hand, listening to the hiss of the ventilator. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again not knowing what to say. Fraser wished Ray would open his eyes and look at him. Ray had wonderful green eyes, eyes that seemed to be able to see right into his soul. It was like his soul was divided into two halves. Ray was one and Fraser the other. He could see things in Fraser that others couldn't. He always seemed to be able to read him somehow. 

Fraser sat and thought about his life and how it would be without Ray. He remembered how Ray had behaved after he had been shot. He had never left his side. He remembered hearing voices as they wheeled him into ER but could not tell who was speaking. Sometimes he caught sight of Ray. A doctor fired questions at Ray.

__

"Caliber?" 

Ray answered automatically _. "9mm"_

"Range? "

He remembered his shot hitting Benny. _"About 50yds"_

"Angle?" 

He stared at Benny laid on the gurney, blood everywhere. _"I don't know"_

__

"There's no exit wound, the bullet probably hit something."

Ray knew it was bad! _"Like what?"_

"We'll need to intubate him, number 8 inter-tracheal tube. Get ready to bag him"

"Estimated blood loss?" 

" About 2 units"

"Is he a drug user?" 

Ray was appalled at the question. _"Negative!"_

"Time?" 

"20 Minutes down now"

"Vitals?" 

"EPA, systolic, pulse weak and thready"

"You the next of kin?"

Ray started to panic. _"Why"_

"You might want to call someone!"

Ray held Benny's hand _"He's okay right? He's ok, he's breathing right?"_

Fraser remembered seeing Victoria leaning over him and Ray's voice as he slipped down into the pit of darkness. _"Benny, I'll be right out here!"_

Fraser opened his eyes. It was still very painful. He remembered how Ray had stayed with him during his recovery. Trying to make amends. Buying things, flowers, a television and a even chain saw. 

Then one day he finally broached the subject.

__

"We should try to put Victoria behind us. You know like a, 'do over', a fresh start. Right?"

"Right" Fraser stared out of the window

__

"That'd be great"

"Yeah" He agreed but inside...

__

"Victoria was not your fault. Everybody has a blind side"

"I was going with her you know" He finally admitted it to Ray

__

"I know" Fraser could hear the sadness in Ray's voice.

__

Fraser realized that he had disappointed Ray when he had tried to go with her. He had trashed Ray's home and had almost made the greatest mistake of his life.

Fraser sat with Ray thinking about all they had been through together. Ray could be awkward, arrogant, tough, prickly, kind and soft. He got up and walked around the room, looking at the equipment. Ray looked so small and weak. Fraser reached out and touched Ray's cheek, it was warm and prickly. Ray wouldn't be very happy with the hospital gown. It definitely wasn't Armani! Fraser half smiled to himself. Then remembered what was happening. This was the first time he had seen him in a long time. He didn't look much different, older maybe, less hair but still the same Ray. Ray meant more than life itself to Fraser. He knew that now. No one could replace him, not even Stan. He had lost everyone he had ever loved. His parents, Victoria, friends and now.... Ray. 

Ray was going to die. It was that simple. He knew now.

Something in Fraser died at that very moment. Something loving, caring and kind died. 

It was the other half of his soul. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

F

raser had has his back to the  
door and was staring out of the window at the softly falling snow.

Grace was closing the door behind her when Fraser spoke. 

"Do you really think he'll recover?" 

Grace sighed, "I'm sorry Benton, but I really don't know. It all depends on Ray now and just how much fight he has in him"

Grace watched Benton watching the snow deepening outside. He had his arms crossed over his chest. Benton seemed to be calm and relaxed now. The sobbing man she had helped earlier had gone. He was different now. Grace wondered what had happened.

She walked across to Benton and raised her hand to place it on his arm. Benton turned away and walked back towards the bed. Picking up his pea coat he shrugged his way into it. 

"I'm leaving now"

Grace watched the tall handsome man putting on his coat and she knew that he _had_ changed and dramatically so. "When will you be back to see Ray again Benton?"

Fraser stared at Ray for a long moment. "I'll not be coming back. I'm done here" 

He turned and walked to the door. Turning, Fraser looked at Grace 

"Thank you for all your help" Then suddenly, Fraser was gone, the door closing silently behind him.

Grace stood looking at the door, a sad look on her face, she was sorry she couldn't have helped him more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F

raser walked away from the hospital  
in the falling snow. It was getting deeper and that he ought to get  
back to the Consulate as quickly as he could. Traffic was starting to  
slow down due to the weather and Fraser walked faster. He wanted to  
get on with his errands now.

In his mind, Ray was gone already. He had left 2 years ago to go on undercover assignment and Fraser had never heard anything from his friend. Then Ray had ended up back here badly injured and it was almost certain that he would not recover. Fraser had finally realized that he had let Ray 'go' a few months ago when he and Stan had finally sorted out their differences. Ray wasn't there with him, so Fraser had put him out of his mind. Now he knew that he could not go through the pain of watching Ray die. He would remember him, as he had been when they had been partners. It was for the best. 

He walked up the steps to the Consulate and entered the impressive building. Opening his office door, he was shocked to see the state of the room. What had he been doing? Fraser immediately began to clean and tidy up. He hung up his uniform and began sorting out his life.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R

ay marched down the street, his  
hands in his pockets. He was still smarting after the conversation with  
his dead father. He realized just how much he resented him. Ray thought  
about his encounter with Benny's dad. He might be strange but at least  
he took an interest in his son. And his son's partner! Ray wondered how  
Huey was getting on without his partner Louis Gardino. And how Benny  
was getting on with his replacement. After seeing him in the squad room  
earlier, he thought the guy looked like a troublemaker. Probably getting  
Benny into loads of trouble with Welsh. He wondered how they got on  
and if they were friends. Secretly he hoped they were just, just.....not  
too close.

'Damn' Ray snarled out loud. He couldn't think how to express it in words. He just hoped they weren't best friends! He knew he was being stupid but he didn't want anyone to replace him _completely._ He could almost hear Benny now. "That's just silly Ray!"

How many times had he said that to Ray? He couldn't count the times, there were so many. Ray grinned to himself at the thought. He could almost see Benny sitting in the front seat of the Riv, scolding him for something or other. Probably for his bad driving!

As Ray walked on he heard a car approaching. Stopping to look behind him, he was surprised to see Gardino driving a beat up old Chevy. 

"Hey Vecchio, need a lift somewhere?" Gardino hung out of the driver's window grinning like a fool. 

Ray stared at Gardino, his mouth hung open in shock. "Well shut your mouth Vecchio and hop in" his grin widened in pleasure at Ray's expression.

Ray swallowed hard and walked to the passenger side of the car and got in. They both sat for a few seconds looking at each other. 

"Sorry to see you here Vecchio" Gardino gazed at Ray, a sad look on his face. 

"Yeah tell me about it! I don't want to be here but I am here. Now I have to get out of here, so lets go" Ray turned and stared out of the windshield waiting for Gardino to move off.

"Where you heading?" Gardino slipped the Chevy in gear and moved off. 

"The hospital would be good. Thanks" Ray crossed his arms over his chest deciding what to say to Gardino.

"Look Gardino, I'm sorry about what happened. The explosion was meant for me not you. If Benny had been faster..." he didn't finish the sentence, he didn't know what to say.

"Yeah well luck of the draw Vecchio. He tried to stop me but I was too quick for him. You never know what's around the corner I didn't, then BANG you're dead" Gardino swerved to avoid another car and stepped on the gas pedal.

"You guys gave me a nice send off. Great flowers and stuff. Salute over the casket was a nice touch. Listen, no hard feelings Vecchio. It's not your fault. And tell the Mountie thanks and that it's okay at least he tried to save me. I see Jack's got a new partner now, he seems okay, I think. Not as good as me but it takes all sorts to do the job. Say the Mountie's got a new partner too now hasn't he. What's he like?" 

Ray stared straight ahead "I'm gonna ignore that remark Gardino I'm his partner no matter what you hear!"

Gardino stared at Ray completely ignoring the other traffic. "What the hell are you doing here anyway?"

"Hey Gardino you trying to get me killed!" Ray grabbed at the wheel trying to avoid a collision with another vehicle.

"Don't worry Vecchio, I'm dead, don't matter" Gardino grinned that wicked grin of his.

"So why are you here?"

"I was on undercover in with the Mob. My cover was blown and well, they beat me up, almost to a pulp, with a baseball bat. Got serious head injuries and I'm in a coma" 

Ray grimaced and shook his head. It felt strange talking about him like that. 

"Think you'll pull through?" Gardino glanced at him as he swerved again. 

"Definitely! I am gonna survive so pull over I don't want to die in a road traffic accident with you!" Ray smacked his hand down on the dashboard to stress the point to Gardino. 

They pulled over to the sidewalk and Ray opened the door. "Look Vecchio go for it. Don't let them drag you down. And if you do make it say 'Hi' to Jack wish him well for me will you? I never got to say goodbye to him. He was a good partner"

"Sure Gardino thanks for the lift" Ray leaned on the roof of the car and smiled at Gardino. "I'd say take care of yourself but is that really possible for you?"

"No need Vecchio I'm dead remember?" Gardino grinned and pulled away, tires screeching. Ray shook his head, Gardino never changed!

He looked around and knew that he was at least a little closer to the hospital. He turned up his collar and started walking again.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A

fter cleaning up, Fraser took  
his uniform out to the cleaners, picked up breakfast and some stamps  
from the post office. Back at the Consulate he ate breakfast while sorting  
out the in-tray on his desk. That done he began to write a letter to  
Mrs. Vecchio. After a while, Dief bounded into the office and yelped  
in happiness at seeing his master. Fraser leant over to pet him. 'How  
are you boy?' Dief grinned at being back with Fraser and then went to  
lie down in his own place.

"Hey Buddy, how are you?" Stan walked in and sat in the chair opposite Fraser.

"Well Stan. And you?"

Fraser gazed at Stan who was fiddling with paperclips. "Okay, thanks. How's Ray?"

Stan glanced at Fraser who was now licking a stamp and applying it to an envelope.

"The same"

"Oh." Stan stared at Fraser, chewing his lip. "Thought I'd better bring Dief back. He was getting a little itchy and wanted to be back with you" Stan held up a long string of paperclips.

"Thank you Stan, I appreciate you looking after him. I hope you didn't feed him any junk food?" Fraser reached across and removed the paperclip chain from Stan's hand.

Stan shook his head grinning "No Fraser, I behaved!" 

Fraser nodded 'Thank you for looking after him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a number of things to do and a lot of work to catch up on' Fraser stood up. 

Stan stood also and stared at Fraser. "Sure Buddy, anything you say. You going to see Ray this evening?" 

Fraser walked around his desk towards the door. "No Stan. Now if you'll excuse me?" He held open the door for Stan, who walked towards Fraser. 

"You want to get some lunch later?" 

Stan looked into Fraser's eyes. They seemed different somehow now, hard and piercing.

' _Something's not right here'_ he thought

"Thank you, no" Fraser held his hand out motioning Stan to go. Stan walked out of the office and turned to see the door closing behind him. 

' _Gee, the guy's a mess! What the hell has happened?_ ' He thought. He almost knocked on the door again and then thought better of it. Turning Stan decided to go back to the Precinct and talk to Welsh. He had known Fraser longer he might be able to help him work things out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

W

elsh had been no help and Stan  
decided to speak to Inspector Thatcher again. He called the Consulate  
later that day and managed to speak to her directly.

"I need help Inspector. I need to talk to you about Fraser, any chance we can meet up this evening?"

"Yes Stan, I have nothing else planned for this evening. How about we meet in the restaurant on W34th & 8th about 7pm?"

"Great. See you there" Stan hung up. He looked at his watch 5.15pm, just time to get home and change before meeting up with Thatcher. Stan walked into Welsh's office. "I'm seeing Thatcher this evening sir" 

"Ah Vecchio, business or pleasure?" Welsh smiled at Stan.

"Sir, I'm meeting her to discuss Fraser that's all" Stan walked away "I'll put my report in to you in the morning sir, ok?" 

"Sure Vecchio, just see if you can sort this lot out huh?" Welsh watched as Stan hurried out of the squad room. ' _Definitely pleasure in my book!'_ he thought.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

R

obert Fraser watched his son  
as he sat behind his desk. Benton looked fine! Not what he had expected  
at all, well, he didn't really know what he expected to see in Benton's  
face. Hurt, anger, or denial? Fraser was busy with paperwork and it  
seemed as though there was nothing wrong. Fraser was carrying on as  
though nothing had changed. Robert was confused. He thought that Benton  
and Vecchio were real friends. Ray was almost the brother that Benton  
never had. What was going on in that sharp mind of his son, he wondered?

Robert cleared his throat to let Benton know he was with him.

"Oh hello Dad" Fraser turned and studied his father. 

"Hello son, how are you? I'm sorry to hear about Ray" Robert was hoping to see some change in Benton's face but there was none.

"I'm well, thank you" Fraser continued with his work. "Can I help you with anything Dad?" Fraser glanced at his father out of the corner of his eye.

"No Son, just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to"

"Why would I need someone to talk to? I'm not lonely." Fraser quickly studied his work.

"Just thought you may want to go over a few things. You know....Ray..." Robert shifted from one foot to the other.

"No thank you Dad. I'm fine, and if you don't mind I do have a lot of work to catch up on." Fraser's words were quite curt. Robert knew that Benton was trying to get rid of him. 

"You sure everything's okay Son?" 

"Yes Dad" Fraser carried on with his work, hoping that when he looked up again his father would be gone. Robert frowned and pursed his lips thinking hard. 

Robert stood looking at his son. He knew that he had only ever seen Benton like this once before and that was when his mother died. Benton was only 6 when she died but his reaction was very similar. He had cried when Robert had told him what had happened but gradually he sank into a strange state of mind, even for someone so young. He didn't seem to want anyone to get too close to him. He had friends at school but no one really close. He wasn't close to his father as he was usually away on RCMP duties. He had lived with his grandmother and seemed happy with her but still he was almost always alone. 

Benton had simply become a loner. He had grown up in just the same way. All through college, he had no real friends, just acquaintances and he seemed to prefer the company of books than people. He worked hard and did well but was usually to be found alone studying in the library or in his room. 

He had joined the RCMP and was alone again. Benton had been the brunt of many jokes but he had held his head high and always brought in the criminals - alone. 

Only when he had been moved to Chicago had he started to change. Vecchio and Benton had become great friends, even after a prickly start. Usually found together, the rapport between them was good. He was the 'straight man' to Ray's joking nature. Ray had even tried to educate him in typical Chicago ways, but he didn't seem to learn them very quickly. Benton had tried to educate Ray in Canadian ways and did seem to be winning! He had been made part of the Vecchio family, having dinner, going on picnics and celebrating holidays as part of the family. Ray's mother really had a soft spot for Benton as well as his sister Francesca!

Ray had tried to help Benton recover from Victoria. Even though Ray had shot Benton, there was no ill feeling between them. Robert actually believed that the episode had brought them closer together.

Then Vecchio had gone undercover. 

Robert privately believed that Benton had never fully recovered from the episode with Victoria and when Vecchio had gone undercover he had hidden his feelings again. Really Benton was struggling with being alone. Although Stan was now his partner, he wasn't Ray.

At first, Stan and Benton had just about got on. They had their differences but finally got over them. Still, the relationship was not the same as with Vecchio. 

Robert realized that Benton had probably tried to put Ray out of his mind. Hoping that if he didn't think about Ray, he would convince himself that Ray was still on undercover assignment and coming back sooner or later. Robert shook his head. Didn't Benton have any idea what he was doing to himself? He realized how much Benton needed Ray Vecchio and just how much Ray needed his son. He wished with all his heart that he could tell Benton about Ray. 

When Fraser did look up again his father had gone. Fraser heaved a sigh of relief and continued with his work. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T

hatcher was already seated when  
Stan arrived. He was surprised to find that she had changed out of the  
suit she had been wearing and into something more casual.

"Thank you for coming Inspector" Stan sat down opposite her and motioned to the waiter. "Would you like a drink?" 

"Mmm yes, thank you Stan, I'll have a glass of medium white wine" 

She was surprised to find that Stan had changed out of his detective's attire and into a smart suit and tie. He looked even nicer when he was ...dressed up?

"I'll have a beer" The waiter walked away and Stan launched straight into it.

"I saw Fraser today. He was acting real strange. Quiet and stuff, withdrawn maybe. I couldn't work him out. It was as though there was nothing wrong. As though Ray was ok. Have you any experience of him being this way?"

The waiter brought their drinks and Stan took a long drink from his beer. The waiter left a menu on the table and discreetly walked away.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I I thought you just wanted a drink, we can have dinner if you feel like it?" 

Stan was slightly embarrassed. He had assumed that they were having a drink and then home?

"Well I haven't eaten yet, what about you?" Thatcher looked at Stan, wondering if he would like to have dinner with her.

"Sure I'd love to have dinner with you. I mean I haven't eaten yet either." Stan handed her a menu and stuck his face in his to hide his embarrassment.

"The fish looks good Inspector" Stan glanced at her over the menu. 

She leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm. "Look Stan, if we are going to help Fraser, I think that you could call me Mar,.Meg don't you?"

"Uh ..thanks,.. Meg. I uh, I did feel a bit awkward calling you Inspector all the time" Stan grinned in relief.

"Shall we order?" Meg glanced at him and down at the menu again. This was going to be a pleasant evening.

After dinner Stan and Meg sat drinking coffee continuing discussion about what they could do to help. "It seems to me that Fraser has got real problems and I've no idea what we can do." Stan stirred his coffee and stared off into the distance. "His eyes were - kinda hard like, you know tough, not the usual..." Stan let his words trail off. He hoped she knew what he meant. 

"Yes he does have nice eyes. I mean, well you know, they are..." 

Thatcher also let her words trail off. She thought about Fraser for a moment remembering their kiss on the train. Shrugging she finished off her coffee.

"Well Fraser has never been one to shirk his duties, maybe we should let him come to terms with what has - is - happening with Ray and maybe working will take his mind off the situation and help him work his way through it. Let's leave it for a week or two shall we before we do anything more, maybe that will be all he needs. Maybe Ray will be...recovering by then." 

Stan nodded "Okay, if you think that's the best thing to do" 

Meg nodded as she stifled a yawn. 

"God I'm sorry Meg, I've lost track of time. Can I walk you to your car?" 

Stan looked at his watch it was 12.10am. ' _No wonder she was yawning'_ he thought.

"Thank you no, I only live around the corner." Meg stood and collected her bag. 

"Let me walk you to your door then?" Stan threw the tip on to the table and helped Meg slip into her coat.

"Thank you Stan, that would be very kind of you" She said smiling at Stan. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A

fter some time Fraser had completed all of  
his outstanding work. He looked at his watch - 2.30am. He should get  
some sleep really but he felt like some fresh air. Besides Dief needed  
a walk. "Come along Dief, time for a walk"

Dief looked up at his master, he didn't really want to go out but the man was suffering and Dief thought it best to go with him, just to keep him company.

Fraser walked around the block a few times. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. He decided that he should go help at the homeless shelter. He had spare time on his hands and they always needed his help. Fraser nodded to himself - he would go now. Father Behan would be there at this time. Fraser looked at his watch - 3.15am. Well, maybe not at this very moment. But there was still the rear of the church to sort out. He could do something about that! Fraser started walking with a purpose. ' _May as well get on with the job as stand here thinking about it'_ Fraser thought. Dief trailed along behind wondering what on earth was going on 'Didn't he know what time it was? All good wolves should be tucked up in bed at this time in the morning'

They arrived at the church some 20 minutes later. Fraser stood looking at the state of the rear of the church. It was badly in need of a complete overhaul and needed repainting. There was much graffiti scrawled over the walls. The fencing needed repairing and some of the windows needed re-glazing. He had a few hours to spare and Fraser decided to get started with the clearing up straight away. _'No time like the present'_ Fraser thought. He didn't feel tired at all. Fraser removed his peacoat and started pulling at the various items that had been dumped there. 

Dief found a cardboard box to lay in and after a while watching his master start the clean up, knew that there would be no soft bed for him tonight. Dief put his head on his paws and settled down to sleep. 

Fraser worked all night without realizing it. After a few hours of piling up much of the debris and pulling down the old wire fencing at the back of the church, he found that he was hot and thirsty. He glanced at his watch and found it was 7.35am. He looked up and saw the sun was on its way up. He realized that he should be getting back to the Consulate and getting ready for work. Picking up his peacoat he decided that he would call Father Behan this morning from the office to let him know what he had planned for the church. "Dief, lets go, I need to get organized for work." Fraser stood looking down at his friend who opened one eye and whined at him. 

"No Diefenbaker, we cannot call and buy donuts we can have breakfast back at the office. Now lets go"

Reluctantly Dief got up and trotted after his master. Why they had spent the entire night out in the cold was beyond him. But he knew that his master was sad and not thinking straight. He would have to have a talk with him later on today after he had had his breakfast and some decent sleep. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R

ay wondered what Fraser was doing  
at this moment. ' _Probably with Ma or sitting at my bedside. Good_  
to know he's there for me. We've been through a lot together him and  
me.'

He dug his hands deeper into his pockets and felt something in the right hand one. Strange, there had been nothing there before. He pulled out his hand and in the palm was a pocket watch. It was the pocket watch Benny had given him for Christmas one year. It had been Benny's dad's watch. Ray remembered feeling proud that Fraser had seen fit to give him the watch. He knew it meant a lot to Fraser. Ray smiled as he looked at the handsome face of the watch. He liked Christmas. He liked they way everyone behaved more like Benny, polite and caring. He loved all the decorations and twinkling lights festooned around. He hoped he would be able to share Christmas with Benny again. Ma would open up the house as usual and Benny and Dief would move in over the holidays and share his family. They would have dinner on Christmas Eve and then go on to the Church for midnight mass. Christmas morning would be the usual chaos of opening presents and kids everywhere. Benny would take on that shy, embarrassed Mountie look when Ray gave him his presents, and say 'Thank you kindly Ray'. And then Benny would look pleased and smug at the same time when he gave Ray his own special gift. 'Yeah man I just love Christmas' Ray smiled and felt warm inside thinking of Benny's smiling face. Ray put the watch back in his pocket and hurried on towards the hospital and back to Fraser. 

 

 

To be continued in part 3

 

 


End file.
